This song is the culmination of going down that dark path, finally facing the memories that you’ve twisted, contorted and over-analysed for months on end. It’s about finally coming to terms with the fact that even people who tell you they love you, can turn on you, tear you down and try to convince you that you’re the problem. It’s about moving on and not being stuck in someone else’s game. It’s about helping yourself. Even if that means treading water in the deep end for a little while.
I wanted a filthy synth sound on this track. Creating low crunchy synths from scratch was definitely a learning experience.
Producing pulsing rhythms using sidechain and parallel compression with strict volume automation on low frequency bass synths was also fun and rewarding.
I also experimented with LFOs on top of higher guitar tracks to create smooth leads that fit nicely with the energy I was searching for – and hopefully delivered on.
The vocals really took it out of me on this track and were the main roadblock on progressing. They stalled me for literally weeks as the amount of effort and work on retakes/correcting/timing/layering/mixing for such an average-length song was demoralising to say the least.
I hope you enjoy this track – It’s a lot more melodic and repetitive than the others so my Mum can listen to it without the “What’s all this shouting?” comments.